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Grooming is when a person befriends and establishes an emotional connection with a child or young person in order to gain their trust, with the aim of then perpetrating harmful sexual behaviour. It often involves behaviours and communications that become more manipulative and controlling over time.
Grooming can take place online or in person. Grooming can be performed by adults or by other children or young people. Grooming can take place over any timeframe - from weeks to months to years.
A child or young person’s parents, carers and other significant adults - including within organisations - may also be groomed. By grooming the adults in a child’s life, the perpetrator makes it easier to get time alone with or talk with the child.
Remember that grooming is never your fault.
Everyone has the right to feel safe. Grooming is an abuse of power. No person deserves to be groomed or to experience abuse. A person who grooms a child or young person is responsible for their own behaviour.
It’s hard to state an exact figure in relation to grooming, but research suggests that it’s on the increase - especially online. A 2022 report by the UK organisation NSPCC revealed a rise in online grooming crimes of 80% in four years.
In 2020, the Australian Centre to Counter Child Exploitation (ACCCE) received more than 21,000 reports of online child sexual exploitation. The eSafety Commissioner has produced a factsheet that specifically covers unwanted online contact and grooming.
However, it’s also important to remember that sexual abusers are often people the victim-survivor knows, rather than strangers. More than 8 out of 10 children who are sexually abused know their abuser.
Grooming behaviours can take place in a range of settings, and perpetrators can often be skilled at manipulation, which makes it hard to see when a child or
young person is being groomed.
Perpetrators often intentionally target children and young people with additional vulnerabilities. This includes: children and young people living with disability, children and young people with culturally or linguistically diverse backgrounds, children and young people with prior history of abuse, children and young people with poor self esteem or mental health issues, single parent families, and children and young people living in out-of-home care.
Some grooming behaviour can look like ‘normal’ or ‘caring’ behaviour which makes it important to pay attention to subtle, observable behaviours that concern you. Being able to recognise, monitor and report grooming is an essential step in stopping or preventing abuse and avoiding further harm to a child or young person.
Examples of grooming behaviour include:
It’s always important to trust your instincts. When something doesn’t look or feel right, even if you can’t quite explain why, then it’s time to speak with a trusted person or a professional support organisation for more advice.
Even if grooming is identified and stopped before any sexual abuse has occurred, it can cause significant harm to a child or young person.
A child or young person who experiences grooming may:
A child or young person who is being groomed may display symptoms of trauma, including anxiety, insomnia, difficulty concentrating, self-harm, drug or substance use, and changes in eating habits. Seeking help is the first step in stopping the grooming, and starting to heal.
Survivors of grooming and child sexual abuse are also strong, courageous, creative and supportive. We are more than the abuse we have experienced.
