Men

Sexual assault is any unwanted sexual behaviour.

If someone has sexual contact with you that you don’t want, that is sexual assault. If someone makes you do sexual things that you don’t want to do, that is sexual assault. And sexual assault also includes any sexual act that you are not able to consent to, for example if you are asleep or unconscious.

Sexual assault can take place in public or in private. It can be carried out by a stranger but is more often done by someone you know - a friend, family member, or partner.

Sexual behaviour that makes you feel uncomfortable or frightened is sexual assault. This can include:

• touching, grabbing or kissing your body, even through clothes
• rape (penetration of the anus, vagina or mouth with a finger, penis or object)
• being forced to watch or engage in pornography, including being made to pose for photographs or videos
• being made to perform sexual acts, including stimulating another person or masturbating
• another person showing you their genitals

Sexual assault can happen to anyone. But men and boys who have experienced sexual violence may face different or additional challenges - often due to social attitudes and stereotypes about men and masculinity.

Sexual assault is never, your fault.

Everyone has the right to feel safe, and to make decisions about their own body. Sexual violence is an abuse of power. No person deserves to be sexually assaulted. A person who commits sexual assault is responsible for their own behaviour.

How common is it for men to experience sexual violence?

Many men and boys in Australia experience sexual violence.

In 2013, the Australian Bureau of Statistics reported that an estimated 336,000 men (1 in 25 men) had experienced sexual assault since the age of 15. Research also suggests that 7.5% of males experience sexual assault as a child.

The figures may be higher because of cultural stereotypes which act as a barrier to men speaking out.

The US-based support organisation 1 in 6 reports that there is a large body of evidence to suggest that one in six men have experienced sexual assault or abuse - either as a child or as an adult.

What are some of the challenges for men who experience sexual violence?

A man or boy who has experienced sexual violence will face many of the same challenges as a girl, woman or non-binary victim-survivor. But men and boys also face a wide range of additional issues that are unique to them. These can include:

• finding it hard to self-identify as a victim-survivor
• shame or self-doubt
• feeling that you should have been strong enough to prevent the experience
• questioning your sexuality or identity because of the assault
• fear of judgement
• stereotypes and stigma making it hard to seek support from police or health services

What is the impact of sexual assault on men?

Each survivor reacts to sexual violence in their own unique way. It is important to respect each person’s choices and style of coping with this traumatic event.

There is no right or wrong way to feel after a sexual assault. But common responses include:

• Shock/disbelief – “I never thought this could happen to me”
• Fear – “Will the perpetrator hurt me again?”
• Anger – “How dare they do this to me?”
• Shame – “How can I show my face again?”
• Guilt/self-blame – “If only I hadn’t…”
• Betrayal – “But I trusted them”
• Numbness – “I feel so hollow”
• Worry/anxiety about the future – “Will my life ever be the same?”

Some common symptoms and effects of trauma are: flashbacks, nightmares, mood swings, insomnia, exhaustion, loss of appetite, over-eating, feeling numb or spaced out, avoidance of people and places, anxiety and panic attacks, depression, risk-taking behaviour, self-harming, or self-medicating through alcohol and/or drug use.

Reaching out for support can be an important way to help you work through the trauma you have experienced. Healing is possible and everyone does this in their own way and at their own pace. Despite your trauma, you also have your own resources and strengths that can also help you recover from the impacts of sexual violence.

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